Home > Fashionably Dead and Wed (Hot Damned #7)(10)

Fashionably Dead and Wed (Hot Damned #7)(10)
Author: Robyn Peterman

“Enough. I do not need my brother and one of my top generals killing each other. Cease the nonsense or I shall do it for you. You two will get along. Am I clear?” Ethan stated in a tone that should have ended the stand off.

“I can get along with people I don’t like,” Venus promised with a bow of respect to Ethan.

“Thin line between love and hate, pretty girl,” Gareth commented mildly.

“I don’t hate you. You mean nothing to me. You’re a sexist pig—nothing more, nothing less,” she shot back with a shrug and a smirk.

Gareth’s grin spread slowly across his face and he looked ungodly beautiful.

“I think she likes me,” he said as he crossed the room and walked out the door.

Venus’s grunt of fury simply made the exiting Vampyre laugh. We were in for a long haul. Ethan ran his hands through his hair and bit back his own laugh. It took everything I had not to tease Venus. She was about to blow and we still had to remove the jungle from Ethan’s office. I didn’t want to have to remodel our suite as well.

I had a sneaking suspicion Venus wasn’t quite as indifferent to Gareth as she said, but he was going to lose his head if he didn’t back off a bit. A furious Venus was a very dangerous Venus. But Gareth was a big boy. He could fight his battles all by himself.

We had our own battles to worry about at the moment.

Chapter 4

“Dude, did you know that Steve Perry is a Unicorn?”

“Shut the Hell up. I didn’t think they were alive anymore.” Venus turned around so I could zip her into her gown.

I squealed with excitement when she turned to face me. Venus looked equally as gorgeous as Gemma. Now I just had to see the dress on my cousin Dixie, Paris Hilton, Raquel and Pam. I had the best damn taste in the world and Satan could kiss my ass if he tried to make the dress code all black.

“Yep, Steve Perry’s a motherhumpin’ horn sprouting Unicorn. I can’t believe they’re real at all,” I muttered as I continued to admire how beautiful my friend looked.

“Um, Astrid… we’re dead and I’m trying on a bridesmaid gown for a wedding that’s going to take place in Hell. Why are Unicorns so unbelievable?”

“And the point goes to Venus.” I giggled and punched her arm. “I still think Unicorns are weird.”

“I heard they died out a long time ago—killed for their horns. Supposedly the horn could make a human immortal.”

“How in Uncle God’s name can a horn make someone immortal?” I asked. I fluffed the tulle skirt and made sure the length was correct with the fabu blush colored Jimmy Choo stilettos I’d bought for my girls.

“It was thousands of years ago when humans still believed in magic. They would kill the Unicorn as a sacrifice, tear off the horn, and then grind it to powder and eat it.”

“Um, gross. Did it work?” I swallowed back a gag and turned her to adjust the neckline.

“No clue.” She slapped my hand away with a smirk and pulled the material lower to display her enormously attractive cleavage. “Better?”

“Much,” I agreed with an eye roll and a laugh. “I’d dare say Gareth will approve.”

“Gareth can kiss my ass,” she hissed.

“I’m sure he’d be happy to,” I shot back with a grin. “What’s going on there?”

“Nothing is going on there,” she snapped. “He’s a disgusting jerk who can’t keep his pecker in his pants. I’m truly sorry that he’s dying, but he rubs me wrong. Most of the time I want to decapitate him.”

“That probably wouldn’t go over too well,” I said, helping her out of the dress.

Her giggle made me laugh. Venus was serious so much of the time. Her life had not been easy. She’d spent her human years as a slave on a plantation. Her family was killed by the slave owner. After she was turned, she went back and took her own vengeance. Venus was a vicious fighter, but compassionate and loyal as well. Her story broke my heart, but the simple fact that she could still find joy in life humbled me.

“I promise not to kill the idiot Prince of the Asian Dominion. However, if he makes another comment about my ass, he won’t be able to sit on his for a very long while.”

“Sounds pretty fucking fair to me,” I told her.

“So have you decided on a date for the wedding?” Venus asked as she slid a few daggers into her boot and strapped on her sword.

“The sooner the better. Everything is kind of ready. We just need to set it all in motion with Satan,” I said, trying really hard to be positive about the fact I was getting married in Hell. “Everyone thinks it’s a joke anyway. If we can stop the flood of Demons coming in by partying down-under then I suppose it’s a win-win.”

I shoved the dress back in my enormous closet and slammed the door so hard it came right off the hinges.

“Fuck,” I mumbled as I held the door in my hands and attempted to suck back my tears.

“Oh Astrid.” Venus took the door from my shaking hands, propped it against the wall and wrapped her arms around me. “I don’t think your wedding is a joke at all,” she whispered. “I think it’s beautiful and I’m proud and honored to stand up for you. You, Ethan and baby Samuel mean the world to me.”

And the floodgates opened.

“Damn it,” I blubbered, swiping at my bloody tears. “I can’t get used to crying fucking blood. I’ve ruined about fifteen really expensive shirts.” Glancing down at my white cashmere Prada sweater, I sobbed even louder. “Oh my Hell, I’m wearing blood polka dots. This so sucks butt.”

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